whatever my soul inherited in this life
has given me the beautiful challenge
of getting to re-pattern
the deeply rooted story
that it’s wrong to have needs
that it’s wrong to take up space
that it’s wrong to have sovereignty.
but before I could re-pattern,
I had to learn the painful lesson,
again and again,
that being deeply afraid
of putting myself out there
in ways as little as refusing basic needs,
in attempts to not stress anyone out,
or let anyone “down” somehow
by taking care of myself,
creates more stress than
having the courage to live in my truth
even if it means making others uncomfortable...
it turns out
it’s confusing for others
when I merge and conform to their being and lifestyle,
as I forget temporarily about my own being,
and then when I remember I am an individual,
take much needed space,
it creates a whiplash effect
that I never wish to hurt another human being with.
but I have.
so here I a